So once again I would like to thank everyone for "Keeping up with Naomi"! It does really mean alot to me. =)
Today I thought I would talk about a few things that has been bothering me lately. I have talked to one person about this but not really anyone else, so here it goes....
For a while now I have been feeling that I am a real loser! (now don't judge me, just hear me out) I was thinking and feeling like I was a loser for many reasons. Some reasons are just to silly to put on here but here are some that I have struggled with for awhile now... (When I say awhile I mean a couple of months lol)
Reasons:
- Having little to no friends
- Not having a boyfriend
- Seems like I am going nowhere in life!
- I'm not good enough
"Having little to no friends", I have never really had many friends and I think that it is mostly my fault that I don't have alot of friends. I have what you would call "convenient friends". They only want to be my friend or hang out with me on there time. It makes me mad when I always make plans to do something and they never happen. It's like they are to good to hang out with me.
"Not having a Boyfriend", now I know that you don't need a man to be happy and I understand that. But sometimes I want one. It's like I see people all the time at the movies or even at church and they have someone they can talk to and connect on a personal level like that and I want that. But with that said I don't think I should put aside what I want to have a boyfriend. Guys today are after one thing and it is ridiculous. I don't understand how guys want to get that one thing but not want to be in relationship with them. Do you understand it? If you do .... please let me know! I guess what I am trying to say about that is it just makes me feel like I am not good enough. Like no guy wants me....
" Seems like I am going nowhere in life", when I say this it is meaning in general. I feel like people that I went to school with have all moved on and is doing there own thing and I am the same Naomi as I was in High School like I haven't changed at all.
" I'm not good enough", I started feeling like this when I was asked to teach Sunday school at my church. Why did they ask me??? What do I have to offer these children? I don't know everything about the Bible who am I to teach someone else about it? Those are some of the questions that I kept asking myself. I didn't feel like I was good enough. I was mostly scared I would fail as their teacher! I felt like they wouldn't listen to me and that I would just be laughed right out of the church by the children and the parents. ( OK! so I bet you are thinking that I am crazy.... keep reading) I just felt like I wasn't good enough!!!
I want to make it clear that I don't feel like this anymore, its how I used to feel!... just keep reading! So now let me tell you how and what I think about all these things now!
" Having little to no friends", well I still don't have that many friends. But, I feel like God has been trying to show me that yes I do have one "true" friend (and her family!!) and he has given me a family that loves me! God has blessed me with a group of women that will always be there for me and who needs friends with family like that? My mom, sister, Memaw, and Aunt are amazing! I know anytime I need them they will be there. And I think God is really working in my relationship with my Memaw.... before this year I would only see her once in a while and now I see her all the time. I donut know if she knows how much it meant to me to go to a concert with her... (just me and her) I will never forget that!
Today I thought I would talk about a few things that has been bothering me lately. I have talked to one person about this but not really anyone else, so here it goes....
For a while now I have been feeling that I am a real loser! (now don't judge me, just hear me out) I was thinking and feeling like I was a loser for many reasons. Some reasons are just to silly to put on here but here are some that I have struggled with for awhile now... (When I say awhile I mean a couple of months lol)
Reasons:
- Having little to no friends
- Not having a boyfriend
- Seems like I am going nowhere in life!
- I'm not good enough
"Having little to no friends", I have never really had many friends and I think that it is mostly my fault that I don't have alot of friends. I have what you would call "convenient friends". They only want to be my friend or hang out with me on there time. It makes me mad when I always make plans to do something and they never happen. It's like they are to good to hang out with me.
"Not having a Boyfriend", now I know that you don't need a man to be happy and I understand that. But sometimes I want one. It's like I see people all the time at the movies or even at church and they have someone they can talk to and connect on a personal level like that and I want that. But with that said I don't think I should put aside what I want to have a boyfriend. Guys today are after one thing and it is ridiculous. I don't understand how guys want to get that one thing but not want to be in relationship with them. Do you understand it? If you do .... please let me know! I guess what I am trying to say about that is it just makes me feel like I am not good enough. Like no guy wants me....
" Seems like I am going nowhere in life", when I say this it is meaning in general. I feel like people that I went to school with have all moved on and is doing there own thing and I am the same Naomi as I was in High School like I haven't changed at all.
" I'm not good enough", I started feeling like this when I was asked to teach Sunday school at my church. Why did they ask me??? What do I have to offer these children? I don't know everything about the Bible who am I to teach someone else about it? Those are some of the questions that I kept asking myself. I didn't feel like I was good enough. I was mostly scared I would fail as their teacher! I felt like they wouldn't listen to me and that I would just be laughed right out of the church by the children and the parents. ( OK! so I bet you are thinking that I am crazy.... keep reading) I just felt like I wasn't good enough!!!
I want to make it clear that I don't feel like this anymore, its how I used to feel!... just keep reading! So now let me tell you how and what I think about all these things now!
" Having little to no friends", well I still don't have that many friends. But, I feel like God has been trying to show me that yes I do have one "true" friend (and her family!!) and he has given me a family that loves me! God has blessed me with a group of women that will always be there for me and who needs friends with family like that? My mom, sister, Memaw, and Aunt are amazing! I know anytime I need them they will be there. And I think God is really working in my relationship with my Memaw.... before this year I would only see her once in a while and now I see her all the time. I donut know if she knows how much it meant to me to go to a concert with her... (just me and her) I will never forget that!
"Not having a boyfriend, many people have posted on my facebook they exact thing that I am about to say. God has a plan. He knows who the right person is and he will send them my way. By being turned down (for lack of a better word) he is saving me the heartache. Never question God... he knows what he is doing... that is all I'm going to say about that!
"Not being good enough", my thoughts on that was it was pure Satan talking then! I mean think about it.... I thought I would not be good enough and that the parents and children would laugh me out of the church.... Satan! I will say that I am learning each time I go in that Sunday School room. They challenge me and I love it. I have the best group of kids! I truly enjoy it and this may be backwards but they have taught me so much more than I ever knew! They have made me want to be better (not that I was horrible to begin with but I was human and did make mistakes)!
I went from thinking I was a Loser and feeling really down about myself to saying you know what Gods got this! Trust him!!! Don't worry about things that you cannot change. Be the person you know God wants you to be and don't worry about what others think of you! I know I am not a LOSER! It was just that I let Satan get in my head and allow him to control my thoughts!!!
Once again I would like to thank everyone very much for reading my blog! I ask you please don't judge me we all go through things in our life! Comments welcome just email me =)
*Never Settle for anything less that what you deserve!!!! *
Love,
Naomi =)
so proud of you:)
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